Where’s The Off Switch?

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Auto-tune… a thing we’ve all heard at some point in music, and if you’re anything like me, then you deeply resent the very presence of it. However if you’re one of the few people who actually enjoys listening to auto-tune infused songs, then I suggest you click away from the rest of this article and then promptly go to your doctor to get examined for severe mental damage. Better yet, here is my personal diagnosis of your condition, and it’s free! (you’re welcome). There is a viable alternative to auto-tune, and it’s called fucking talent!

From pop artists like The Black Eyed Peas to hip-hop artists like Kanye West, they’ve all used auto-tune at some point or another. The main difference is that the good artists only use auto-tune in small doses, and they don’t overrun their songs with it to the point where it resembles the mating call of some kind of dysfunctional dolphin. Aaron Tap wrote a great article explaining that it isn’t necessarily the use of auto-tune that ruins songs, it’s the lack of effort or talent from the musicians and/or producers that does it. The wisdom of Aaron Tap can be summarized in one quick phrase: auto-tune doesn’t lead to a shitty song… being a terrible musician does! And this is very true, because the artists that get criticized for using auto-tune an indecent amount wouldn’t suddenly be acceptable if they didn’t use auto-tune. The opposite would actually happen, and they become even worse! (somehow defying the laws of the universe).

This brings me to my personal viewpoint on the use of auto-tune. I don’t actually hate artists that use auto-tune in one of their songs every now and then. I hate artists that are reliant upon a heavy amount of auto-tune in EVERY one of their songs. If you can’t sound good without the use of auto-tune, then just don’t be a fucking singer! It’s easy… i’m doing it right now! Leave being a professional singer to the people who can actually carry a fucking tune. The world always needs more cashiers and janitors…

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