Well as we approach awards season, there is one that everyone always seems to be talking about. I know that for the entire months of January of February I can’t go anywhere without hearing someone talk about their dumb New Year’s resolutions which they of course failed in the third week of January, and how excited they are for the Oscars.
This year unfortunately we all had to deal with Oscar news bullshit before the new year even began thanks to the whole Kevin Hart fiasco. At this point you are probably wondering why someone who seems to dislike the Oscars so much is writing an article about them. Well there’s a simple answer to that… I’m all about the views. I know you people go crazy for this shit, so here I am writing about the Oscars, which has its nomination process start on January 7.
Before the official nominees list comes out on January 22 I thought I would give you guys my own list of the movies from this year that I believe should be considered for the Best Picture category (let’s be honest, the rest of the categories are kind of like participation trophies). I’ll list each film and give my brief description of it as well as my rating for it. So here we go…
Deadpool 2 –
Of course this movie would be on here, and while yes I will concede that the second was not quite as good as the first (but seriously sequels basically never are) it was still a really good film. It follows the adventures of Deadpool and his crew of weird group of superhero allies (and Peter of course) while the time travelling Cable tries to kill a mutant kid destined for chaotic evil.
I give this film 4 out of 5 Deadpools.
Black Panther –
This film made massive waves around the world and for a few weeks made everyone forget about colour (well sort of) and just enjoy a really good movie. The story revolves around the self-titled superhero as he tries to cope with his father’s death and fight his way to the throne to provide security for his entire nation.
I give this film 4 out of 5 Black Panthers.
A Star Is Born –
For the sake of transparency, I haven’t actually seen this movie. However I kind of feel like I have thanks to amount of trailers for it that I was bombarded with and how much I’ve been forced to listen to other people talking about how much they loved it. It’s basically the story of an older B-list musician helping an unknown woman with a lot of musical talent start her career while his own starts to reach its decline. Oh ya and there’s a bunch of tears and romance and shit along the way I guess.
I give this film 4 out of 5 Stars.
The only film on this list to not be shown in English, the semi-autobiographical tale follows the story of a housekeeper who works and lives with a middle class family in Mexico City. It’ll make you gasp, laugh, and cry as you see life through the eyes of a strong woman struggling to balance her work and her unplanned pregnancy.
I give this film 4 out of 5 Romas.
Avengers: Infinity War –
I mean it’s an Avengers movie, of course people fucking loved it. I almost don’t want to include this movie on this list simply because it seems like such a lazy way to make a couple billion dollars and entertain a few million fans. Just include a ton of everyone’s favourite superheroes and have they face off against Thanos, that’ll be sure to check off everyone’s boxes for an entertaining movie.
I give this film 3.5 out of 5 Avengers.
Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse –
Yet another superhero entry on this list (even though the Oscars has a perpetual hatred for these films and almost never includes them in the Best Picture category) only this time it’s everyone’s favourite (and definitely not overdone) web slinger. This follows several different iterations of Spider-Man as they come from different universes to team up and fight Kingpin (ya dumb fucking name).
I give this film 3.5 out of 5 Spider-Man Universes.
Incredibles 2 –
Well we had to wait 14 fucking years but it finally came, and holy crap was it worth the wait! This continuation of the beloved tale has all of your favourite superhero family members back together again after a rough hiatus to defeat a new emerging villain. Although I will admit that my childhood love of the first movie probably affected my opinion of this sequel, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit here and listen to you try to tell me that this isn’t a great movie.
I give this film 4.5 out of 5 Incredibles.
Mission: Impossible – Fallout –
Back for yet another action packed mission that turns out not to be impossible afterwards (seriously, by now I think we know to expect that every mission is actually quite possible). Ethan Hunt suits up to fight the evil wrongdoings of the terrorist group known as The Apostles.
I give this film 4 out of 5 Missions.
[WINNER] A Quiet Place –
If you were ever going to fall asleep to a movie then this would be the ideal one. Not because it is boring or anything (it is actually a super intriguing world) but because about 60 percent of the entire movie is performed in total silence. The terrifying monsters with extremely sensitive hearing plague the entire area picking off everyone who dares to so much as cough. p.s. I’m so fucking excited for A Quiet Place 2 to come out!
I give this film 4.5 out of 5 Quiet Places.
So there you have it, my picks for what I think SHOULD be the Oscars nominees for Best Picture. I don’t actually expect every one of these films to make the nominations list, but that’s mostly because the Oscars is such a load of favouritism bullshit. Once again, I don’t like them, I’m just here for the views. Stay tuned for my unfortunate coverage of the awards ceremony when it takes place on February 24.