I’m In Love With THE LOVE TRAIN

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Well, it’s the month of love… and black history. So I guess you should go out and love your black friends? Anyways, we’re getting a bit off track now. The reason for this article is because Meghan Trainor has just released your new EP titled THE LOVE TRAIN (I’m seriously getting annoyed with all of the artists who insist on using fucked up capitalization).

Coming fresh off of her marriage to Daryl Sabara (Spy Kids), Meghan is apparently is going all-in for love. This 6-track EP is obviously centred around the theme of love and is no doubt going to be the go-to choice for thousands of couples who will be getting engaged next week. Anyways, here’s what I thought of the EP.

Track 1: ALL THE WAYS

In the interest of full disclosure, I will let you guys know that I fucking love Meghan Trainor. But it’s because of this that you know when I criticize something about her, that I must really mean it. The reason why I’m telling you this is because I have a big criticism of her music. The vast majority of it takes a very female dominant stance. I’m not talking about girls standing up for themselves and being equals, it promotes them to be demanding and stuck up bitches. Don’t believe me? Go and actually Google the lyrics to Let You Be Right.

Well, ALL THE WAYS is the exact same thing. While I do agree that couples should be vocal about their love for each other, I also think that when she’s demanding that her partner tell her exactly what they love about her, it comes off as bitchy and pretentious. However, despite my disapproval of the lyrics, I have to admit that it’s actually a great song. The music is that fun bubblegum pop sound, and the lyrics (although slightly infuriating) are sung in a very catchy rhythm.

Track 2: MARRY ME

Well, the ukelele that Meghan seems to be so fond of is back (see this live performance of All About That Bass) in this soft and slow pop ballad. The irony of her singing about not needing a fancy wedding or cake is not lost on me, as she recently had her marriage, and although it was not necessarily super fancy (100 guests in the backyard of their LA home) it was definitely far from being an average wedding. The actual track is fine but becomes a little more repetitious than I would like to see, and by the halfway mark you kind of feel it lulling you to sleep.

Track 3: I’M DOWN

You can’t help but picture an upbeat love montage of a couple going on romantic and fun adventures with each other when you listen to this song. If it wasn’t for it’s faster pace then it would be a no brainer for your background music during a proposal. But even if it won’t quite work for that, it’s still a fantastic song. Everything is done incredibly well throughout the track, and besides the weird out of place saxophone near the end of the song, I wouldn’t change anything about it.

Track 4: AFTER YOU

The lyrics of this song leave me feeling the exact opposite of the ones from ALL THE WAYS. They bring me to a place where I feel the power of love and bring out the hopeless romantic in me. I’m not crying… you’re crying! Anyways, it’s a very excellent track, and even though the rhymes and pace seem a bit forced at some points it still comes together pretty well.

Track 5: FOOLISH

This is the only track that I really don’t like on the entire EP. It has all of the makings of a good song, including an upbeat fun sound and good vocals, but somehow when it all comes together it becomes a clusterfuck of sound that just comes off as forced and awkward to the ear. The somewhat catchy chorus is by far the best part about this track, and it’s mediocre at best.

Track 6: GOOD MORNIN’ (feat Gary Trainor)

Well the nepotism is rampant here (Gary is Meghan’s father in case you didn’t know) and I wish that I could tell you that it at least went into making an amazing track, but sadly that’s not the case. That’s not to say that it’s bad, because it definitely isn’t. It just won’t be the one you play on repeat until your neighbour bangs on the wall and tells you to change the fucking song. It staggers a bit during the lacklustre verses, but luckily the simple and catchy chorus is there to help keep it together and make it a mediocre song.

Overall, if you can get over the cheesy cliche of releasing a love-themed EP a week before Valentine’s Day then you will actually find yourself enjoying most of these tracks. I give this EP 4 out of 5 Love Trains.

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