The Complete Guide to How I Met Your Mother Websites

It’s been 5 years now since How I Met Your Mother ended and if you’re like me, then you miss it like hell (despite that absolute disaster of a final episode). Luckily, Netflix has made it possible for us to sit in front of the television for hours on end while watching through the entire catalogue of HIMYM episodes.

As I recently did this, I happened to notice that this show tends to mention a lot of fictional websites. But after I pulled out my phone and looked up one in particular only to find out that it wasn’t so fictional after all. So that got me thinking… how many of these websites are actually real and what’s on them? If you’ve ever wondered the same thing, then this article is for you. Here is the definitive guide to every website ever mentioned in HIMYM (in order) and what you can find if you actually Google them.

https://www.barneystinsonblog.com/ (multiple episodes)

You get a collection of blog entries supposedly written by Barney, 6 odd pictures, a fairly amusing About Me section, and more.

http://www.swingers.open-marriage-is-naturalelegalize-polygamy.org/ (Season 2, Episode 3 – Brunch)

Surprisingly, this website is not actually real. I would have expected the Mormons to claim it by now, but then again, I doubt many of them watch HIMYM, so I guess that makes sense. The fact that it isn’t real though, really makes me question the validity of Barney’s statistic that “83% of people married longer than 6 months are seeing someone on the side” and his role in their 10K race.

http://www.canadianmallmarriage6000.com/ (Season 2, Episode 9 – Slap Bet)

The infamous database that Ted used to check whether Robin was actually married or not actually exists! However, the catch is that it is not what you think it is. A couple named Patrick and Becky used this online address to create their own wedding invitation site, so the vast majority of it is not at all related to HIMYM. Although, they do give a small shout out to the show at the bottom of the site.

http://slapcountdown.com/ (Season 3, Episode 1 – Wait For It)

Although amusing and mentioned across two different episodes, this website does not exist, unfortunately. However, since the countdown expired almost 12 years ago, it’s no surprise that it is no longer a thing.

http://www.tedmosbyisajerk.com/ (Season 3, Episode 14 – The Bracket)

This website is exactly what it looks like in the show. It even has multiple other sections of the site, including a copy of the hilarious fake note that Barney left Anna as he bailed on her, poster images of the porn movies that the fake Ted Mosby starred in (Season 3, Episode 6 – I’m Not That Guy), and a selection of drawings showing Ted dying in gruesome ways.

http://www.tedmosbyisnotajerk.com/ (Not In Show)

This is one of the weird entries on the list because it is never actually mentioned in the show (like, at all) and yet it still exists. It was reportedly made by Victoria and details her experience meeting and dating Ted in order to paint a picture of why he is in fact not a jerk. It also has a hilarious conspiracy theory section where it explains that Conan O’Brien is actually the “Ted Mosby” that tricked Anna and drove her to create the other website slandering Ted’s name.

http://lilyandmarshallselltheirstuff.com/ (Season 3, Episode 19 – Everything Must Go)

Unfortunately, this website does not actually exist any longer. However, as you’ll see down below, Lily’s helpful name change suggestion is in fact real.

http://www.guyforceshiswifetodressinagarbagebagforthenextthreeyears.com/ (Season 3, Episode 19 – Everything Must Go)

Well this is real, but I honestly can’t say what the hell is going on with it. There is a slideshow containing a few pictures of some random couple where the wife is actually wearing a garbage bag and the entire time there is some unusual French song playing in the background with the words “garbage bag” being the only thing said in English.

http://www.goliathbank.com/ (Season 4, Episode 2 – The Best Burger In New York)

Once again, this site is never actually mentioned in the show. However, it manages to make this list because Goliath National Bank plays a big part of the show and this site actually happens to exist. Unfortunately, you can’t actually open up your own bank account with Goliath, but you can sign up to receive their Weekly Chick Investment newsletter.

http://www.notafathersday.com/ (Season 4, Episode 7 – Not A Father’s Day)

This new national holiday of Not A Father’s Day is the centerpiece of this episode and, as a quick Google search will reveal, there actually is a website for it. It is a rather simple website that talks about the importance of the holiday and lists some fake products that are shown in the episode that aren’t actually for sale and provides a hilarious list of famous non-fathers (although they need to update their list and remove George Clooney from it as of 2017).

http://www.mysteriousdrx.com/ (Season 4, Episode 14 – The Possimpible)

All fans should remember the mention of Ted and his glorious college days as Dr. X. During the conversation of embarrassing resume items, Ted happens to reminisce about his time as the infamous school radio DJ. Although he doesn’t specifically mention a website for it, there does happen to be one. It is a single page that features three audio rants from “Dr. X” and some basic (and extremely odd) bio paragraphs.

http://www.barneysvideoresume.com/ (Season 4, Episode 14 – The Possimpible)

Unlike the previous website, this one is actually mentioned in the show and is exactly what you would expect. It contains a link to be able to download a video, which turns out to be a condensed version of the video shown on the actual episode.

http://www.canadiansexacts.org/ (Season 4, Episode 18 – Old King Clancy)

Well Robin’s celebrity sex story might have been disappointing, but this website sure isn’t. Unfortunately, it isn’t fully functional, but it does have the titles of some hilariously named Canadian sex acts and does allow you to actually purchase some shirts with some of the show’s most famous says listed on them.

http://www.itwasthebestnightever.com/ (Season 5, Episode 4 – The Sexless Innkeeper)

I cannot overstate how amazing this website is. It only has a single music video of pure excellence that involves brief shots of the rest of the cast and then Jason Segel (Marshall) and Nuno Bettencourt performing a hilarious ballad version of Best Night Ever.

http://www.bigbusinessjournal.com/, http://www.extremitiesquarterly.com/, http://www.balloonexplorersclub.com/, http://www.lorenzovonmatterhorn.com/ (Season 5, Episode 8 – The Playbook)

These four websites are briefly shown as being part of the setup for Barney’s play out of the playbook entitled Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. They are basic single pages that look exactly like shown in the episode. Unfortunately, Lorenzo’s MySpace page does not exist though.

http://www.weddingbridemovie.com/ (Season 5, Episode 23 – The Wedding Bride)

We all know this classic film by now, but just in case you don’t (or you want to get a nice refresher on it), you can simple check out this website. On here is a trailer that reveals some unseen footage that is fantastic for many reason, including the fact that it contains the line “marriage wife”.

http://www.grademyteacher.net/ (Season 6, Episode 4 – Subway Wars)

Unfortunately, you can’t actually attend an architecture class taught by Ted Mosby, but you can check out this site that rates his skills as a teacher. From the four student reviews posted on there, we now know that Ted is apparently hot, a good teacher, and at least a little boring.

http://www.stinsonbreastreduction.com/ (Season 7, Episode 4 – The Stinson Missile Crisis)

Although not part of the playbook, this site is related to Barney’s attempts at hooking up with “respectable women”. This site contains some rave reviews of his past consultation patients and advertises for a lot of the other sites on this list.

http://www.linsonbreastlawsuit.com/ (Season 7, Episode 4 – The Stinson Missile Crisis)

Not surprisingly, this website also exists and is closely connected to the Dr. Barney Stinson site. It even features a lunchtime consultation location in the Goliath National Bank building (same as the breast reduction site) and states that he has been practicing law for exactly one month less than what is on the breast reduction site.

puzzlesthebar.com/ (Season 7, Episode 13 – Tailgate)

Sadly, while this website used to exist, it no longer does. It apparently used to host a humorous backstory of the reason why Puzzles was started, a fake menu, and even the full theme song.

https://heynannynanny.com/ (Season 8, Episode 3 – Nannies)

After finishing with Bangtoberfest (which doesn’t exist either), Barney attempts to use the site Hey Nanny Nanny to scam nannies into sleeping with him. Luckily, all the nannies of the world can rest easy knowing that no creeps like Barney can use the site for evil because it doesn’t actually exist.

https://brobibs.com/ and https://dudeaprons.com/ (Season 8, Episode 9 – Lobster Crawl)

The untimely death of Barney’s tie Cornelius was tragic, but it did lead to the incredible invention of Bro Bibs. Even sadder than Cornelius’ premature death is the fact that neither of these websites actually exist.

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